


steady as she goes

by SilentApocalypse



Category: Love Live! School Idol Project, Love Live! Sunshine!!
Genre: Character Study, Friendship, Gen, Jealousy, Self-Doubt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-07
Updated: 2018-04-07
Packaged: 2019-04-19 13:17:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14238126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilentApocalypse/pseuds/SilentApocalypse
Summary: You wants to do something special with a close friend, but Chika starts gathering more and more people. It takes some time before You realizes making new friends doesn't mean the old ones will be forgotten.





	steady as she goes

**Author's Note:**

> The You focus episode gives me a lot of feelings.
> 
> Just to be clear, I think all members of Aqours are awesome. Any negativity in this fic is a product of You's insecurity in her friendship with Chika, which she gets over.

You learns to dive from Kanan on a sweltering summer day at a pool in the city. Usually they just swim in the ocean, but pools are easier to climb out of repeatedly. Chika is there too, but after the third time she gets water up her nose she opts to hang out in an inner tube and watch.

You quickly goes from kneeling to standing dives and by the end of the day, Kanan admits the student has surpassed the teacher.

But it’s a while before You actually becomes interested in diving as a sport. She’s a natural athlete with far too much energy for her mother to handle, which is why she’s signed up for swimming practices. She’s an excellent swimmer and the coach tells her she’ll make the city’s competitive team in no time. But that’s before You spies an older girl flipping off the diving platform at the other end of the complex and is transfixed.

Swimming is a sport of minutes, diving of seconds. Swimming is about speed and raw power while diving is about control and flexibility. There’s a grace to diving’s form of strength. You has always loved water and swims as easily as she walks, but with diving she feels a spark of passion she has never known.

It turns out You is as much of a natural diver as she is a swimmer, so the swim coach doesn’t complain too much about passing her off to the diving team.

You adores diving, but as it takes up more and more time she feels a little lonely. She likes her teammates well enough but they’re acquaintances, not friends. None of them go to her school and she barely sees them outside practices. Kanan is too busy helping with the shop to even consider asking and Chika can only do a pencil dive, so she doesn’t have anyone to _really_ share her passion with.

But it’s fine. She’s okay with the way things are. You Watanabe is a girl who faces her problems head on and dives right in. That means she’s fearless, confident, and independent.

(That means she’s alone.)

***

You sees μ's on the screen right along with Chika. Sure, they seem cool, but she probably wouldn’t have given school idols a second thought on her own. It’s Chika who is bursting and bubbling with passion for them and while sometimes her whims fizzle out, You can see through her recruitment efforts that she’s absolutely serious about this. That energy is something You desperately wants to share with her closest friend.

So she grins and snatches the club application and scribbles her name right below Chika’s. It’s the two of them against the world. It’s great.

Then Riko joins.

And it’s not that You dislikes Riko at all. She’s cool! She’s kind and talented and refuses to take crap from anyone, which is definitely a good influence on Chika. Aqours wouldn’t exist without Riko because even if Chika was serious about trying to learn music (she wasn’t, You is certain, because that’s too optimistic even for her) she definitely wouldn’t have been able to put anything resembling a real song together for months if not years. Even then, it wouldn’t be anything close to the incredible ones Riko can create.

It’s just different than she expected. She thought this would be a chance to do something with someone she knew really well. And You is outgoing, yes, and she has a bright, friendly attitude that makes it easy for her to talk to people, but that’s different than actually being close to them. She doesn’t have a lot of people who really know her and thought this would be a chance to do something special with one of the few who do.

It really shouldn’t be surprising that Riko and Chika start spending a ton of time together. They live right next door and even have bedroom balconies facing each other. It’s like some kind of modern day fairy tale in how perfect it is. You’s house is too far away to walk, so of course Chika and Riko will have late night planning sessions she doesn't know about. Of course they’ll talk about songs a lot because the lyrics Chika writes and and instrumental Riko produces have to match. Of course they’ll start cracking up about inside jokes You doesn’t understand.

You throws herself into sewing as they prepare for their first live show. She tries not to think about the two of them talking and laughing under the stars on their perfect side by side balconies. She’s definitely an important member of the newly named Aqours. She’s been there for several discussions about lyrics and choreography, she’s practice leader because of her diving experience in analyzing form, and she’s the one who designed and is sewing the costumes.

She’s not a third wheel.

They perform. The lights go out. Chika cries, the generators kick in, and Chika’s sister brings in a swarm of people. They’re successful. They shout to a gym full of people their dreams about wanting to shine. Mari grants the school idol club permission like she promised and they have a real club room. Aqours is alive.

Ruby and Hanamaru join and Yoshiko follows soon after. There is a small part of You’s heart that is grateful not because Aqours has more new members but because it splits Chika’s attention on more new people. She tries to put it out of mind, but she knows it’s there.

(But Ruby can sew, too. If You is being honest, she’s better.)

The Tokyo trip happens and it’s horrible but You doesn’t really know how to help. In the end, it’s Riko who drags Chika out of her funk and makes her admit how frustrated she is. You is just another member of Aqours on the beach alongside the first year trio. An extra. A side character. She doesn’t let it bother her in the moment, but at night when she flops on her bed, exhausted from days split between school and rehearsal and diving practice, she can’t shake thoughts that she no longer belongs at Chika’s side.

Then there’s the whole drama with the third years and You feels awful that she never noticed any of this was happening. Yeah, she’s been busy with diving and yeah, Kanan was trying to hide that she felt bad about all of it, but You still never noticed anything was up with someone she considers a good friend. She didn’t even notice it was strange Kanan gave up so easily until Chika pointed it out.

(Maybe You is the one who is terrible.)

Then Kanan becomes their practice leader. It makes sense. She’s a natural born leader, she did it before for the original Aqours, and she’s way more capable than You from an endurance standpoint. But You can’t help but think the last unique thing she had to offer to the group is gone.

There’s the whole snack shop silliness. You spends most of it in the kitchen with Mari and Yoshiko making safe, reliable yakisoba (with a punny twist, but still) while the two of them straddle the line between culinary masterpieces and disasterpieces. It’s fun. She laughs more and harder than she has in a long, long time.

So she doesn’t really notice something is going on between Riko and Chika until they’re walking off and having meaningful whispered conversations. Okay, so they have secrets. They’re _allowed_ to have secrets. You tells herself this but her stomach feels unsettled in a way that has nothing to do with the Tears of a Fallen Angel she ate.

Chika returns hand in hand with Riko to her bedroom just after sunrise as the rest of the group is blinking awake. She announces Riko won’t attend prelims because she’ll be at a piano recital. You’s first bitter thought is that no one would be this accepting if she had a diving competition that day. She knows it’s horrible and nasty and feels guilty about it just seconds after it crosses her mind, but it’s still there.

You knows this piano recital is really important to Riko. She remembers scuba diving with her and Chika that day when she was desperately searching for inspiration in the ocean. She’s well aware there’s probably even more to it that only Chika is privy to, that was only ever discussed in whispers from their balconies. Riko deserves this and it’s okay if she and Chika are close, You tells herself. But it doesn’t stop the hollowness in her heart at the thought that her best friend is slipping away from her and there will be no one who she can stand side by side with.

They have to make changes to the song. You is now Chika’s partner instead of being a trio with Dia and Yoshiko. She has a new vocal part to practice and new dance steps to learn.

And she keeps bumping into Chika.

It’s almost too on-the-nose. Riko has slotted in so naturally at Chika’s side that You doesn’t belong there. You just smiles, smiles, smiles because if she doesn’t she thinks she might cry. She’ll learn to do it just like Riko, she says. She and Ruby are already making frantic alterations to their costumes to better match the scrunchies Riko sent, so why not rearrange everything to better fit her?

You isn’t being fair and she knows that. She _knows_ that. But she doesn’t know what else she can do and she hates it. Hates this. Hates her feelings, maybe even herself, more than anything.

Mari comes and confronts her about Chika. You is starting to learn the jokes and casualness are a cover for razor-sharp wit that cuts to the heart of any problem. Talk to her, Mari says, but You isn’t sure she remembers how. She hasn’t said anything about any of this for all this time and now there’s nine people in Aqours and being all worried about one of them is silly, isn’t it?

(Mari cares, You will later realize. They all care. She was never in danger of being friendless because they’ve been her friends all along.)

And then her phone rings and it’s Riko telling her to be herself, that she and Chika can have their own way of dancing together. Riko cares about her. It’s startling to You just how much of a revelation that simple fact is. She isn’t some villain who wants to steal Chika away, she’s just a girl searching for friends and a way to shine like all the rest of them. Then Chika shows up on her doorstep even though it’s late at night way after the buses stop running because she was worried and couldn’t wait until morning and felt like she _had_ to say it in person.

And You runs down the stairs and tackle-hugs Chika right there in the street and sobs, sobs, sobs because it’s okay. It’s okay if they’re making new friends. It’s okay if they don’t know all each other’s secrets anymore. It’s okay if they’re sharing this amazing experience of being school idols with new people because at the end of the day, Chika still wants her to be certain she can belong at her side. You isn’t being replaced or forgotten. In hindsight, it seems like such a stupid thing for You to worry about. But that doesn’t make the reassurance any less heartwarming.

They perform. Riko’s scrunchies are around their wrists and You sings with Chika, joining hands as they lead into the chorus. There may not be anything unique about what she can do for Aqours, but there’s a place for her there. She twirls around as they mime playing piano at the end of the song and smiles extra wide because this is a performance only the nine of them could give. They’re not Aqours without the entire group being represented and Riko is there with them in spirit if not physically.

Months later, it’s the last day before the fate of Uranohoshi will be decided. At their performance, she and Riko touch hands as they start off the song with a duet. They trade winks when they catch each other’s eyes. This, You realizes in a rush, is sharing your passions with people who truly understand you.

You cries along with eight other girls the next morning when the school’s closure becomes official. She shares their determination when they vow to carve Uranohoshi’s name into Love Live history.

(You will never know that Riko hid from sight to let You and Chika have a moment to talk before the school closing festival, but if she did that small consideration would earn Riko her own tackle-hug.)

She and Ruby go into overdrive on the costumes for finals. You has the idea to make three of the outfits have detachable skirts and Ruby figures out how to execute it. They make a great team and trade grins and satisfied high-fives when the others ooh and aah over their work.

Then they win. They really win. You almost can’t believe it. In the background, the audience is roaring, but all she can focus on is Chika grabbing her in one arm and Riko in the other. You laughs and circles around to make it a group hug. Riko’s laughing too. “From zero to one!” You shouts over the din and Chika starts to tear up. You is a nationally competitive diver and has plenty of competition wins under her belt, but this level of exhilaration and euphoria is new to her. It’s the feeling of accomplishing something big with friends. People you trust. People you love.

Then Mari drags the third years into the hug and Hanamaru drags the first years and they’re all giggling and shouting and maybe crying a little. This is an ending, yes, but it’s not one she regrets. Chika may no longer be her unequivocal best friend, but that’s only because there are seven other people You can go to for anything. All she has to do is hold out a hand and they’ll dive in with her.

***

You throws herself back into diving. She is always laser focused at competitions, so she doesn’t even recognize the cheering until after she surfaces from her signature 3.5 backflip dive. Eight people are saluting at her as they holler. You looks up and grins wider than she has since her school idol days.

Chika is waving a handmade sign that says “Let’s Go, You!” Next to her, Riko is also holding up a signboard. Hers says “Yousoro!” and features a chibi You saluting.

Her circle of friends is wider now, but that doesn’t make the friendships less meaningful. She looks at Riko whispering something that makes Chika laugh, at Yoshiko clearly getting flustered by Hanamaru and Ruby’s teasing, at Mari shouting in scrambled English as Dia buries her face in her hands and Kanan tries to pull them away. She’s happy to have them and happy Chika has them.

And isn’t that what being a friend is really about?


End file.
